Peer Review and Revision Workshop

Part I: Research

Objectives: Students will be able to add complexity to their essay about place and culture through research in traditional and non traditional methods.

Do Now:  Identify an area in your essay where you can add depth or complexity through research. Or ask a question on why you need to go deeper with this part of the essay?

Mini Lesson and Guided Practice

Workshopping: What kinds of non-traditional research might work well in grounding an essay on culture and place?  How do we add information and make it a seamless part of the essay?

  1. Unpack Madison Smartt Bell, “Sa’m Pèdi,” 331-355 ( In Fact)
  2. Share ideas and examples ( your own or from  published essays- Madison Smartt Bell, “Sa’m Pèdi,” 331-355 ( In Fact) to integrate researched information to your essay in an organic way.
  3. Present your findings to the class
  4. Describe one strategy you have learned from the piece from the piece and implement it in your own essay.

Independent Practice

Work in pairs: Critique each other’s essay only in regard to research. Is the research necessary? Does it take away or enhance the reader’s interests? Is the information an organic part of the essay? If not, how can we make it more organic? What other research needs can you help your partner identify?

Reflect: Based on the rubric of Unit three essay int he category of research, what else do I need to do to add complexity to  my essay?

Homework: Work to add complexity to your essay. Consider adding reflections, analysis and insight into your experience and observation into the larger culture or subculture. Think about why you frame the discussion of the place and culture in a certain way and what helped you make the choice. Bring in a hard copy of whatever you may have written for a workshop tomorrow.

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Part II Focus –Revision & Peer Review

Objectives: Students will be able to critique each other’s essay in google doc by using the questions and essay rubric provided.

Agenda

Do Now: Quick share in pairs where you are with your “place and culture” writing at this moment. What are you still struggling with?

Mini lesson and Guided Practice

We’ll first discuss what each question means in writing and make connections with sample essays we have studies in class.

They students will use the following guided questions to do a self-evaluation of the culture piece. Add comments in google doc. 

  • How did you forge discovery of your subject through moments of reflection, analysis, and insight into one’s own experience and into the larger relevant culture or subculture?
  • How did you provide a focused, complex, and nuanced treatment of a cultural issue?
  • Did you move your essay through both horizontal and vertical movements?
  • What helped you with making the decisions about framing your topic?
  • What images did you use to help arrange the material strategically?

  Student  Independent Practice

Workshopping: Provide feedback for a partner in your group . Consider using the following craft questions to provide critique:

  • Is there a distinctive theme emerging in your essay (themes as borders, relocation, immigration, resettlement, exile, homelessness, diaspora, pilgrimage, refuge, sanctuary, travel, the environment, urban spaces, suburban and rural landscapes, farming, gardening, architecture, and the emotions and relationships that accompany these many links to place and displacement)?
  • Did you explore conflict over a given space between individuals and communities?
  • Are there any individual and group encounters that give meaning to certain spaces?
  • In your essay, have you started addressed any of the following questions?
    • What is culture? How is it linked to place?
    • What’s the role of places in shaping culture?
    • How do the rules and rituals associated with a place shape the behaviors, beliefs, and bonds of the people who inhabit it?
    • How does the history of a place leave its mark on the present?
    • What’s the role of culture in leading to certain acts of place-making: i.e., the construction, architecture, interior design, arrangement, and decoration of the place?
    • How do our identities and social positions determine our experiences of particular places?
    • How much control do we have over our participation in and experience of culture and place?
    • To what extent do we construct culture, and to what extent does it construct us?

If you are still struggling with ideas, use the following Writing Prompt to help you: Consider exploring the “foreignness” of the culture you have been writing about. What makes it foreign to you? How does your rejection to or acceptance of it reveal who you are? Use Stephen Dunn’s “Locker Room Talk,” 149-151as a model to explore “foreign” culture in a familiar place.

Assessment: Please share with the teacher, in google doc, your peer reviewed essay with comments.

Homework:  Use the notes from the workshop to help you expand the essay. Consider using an appropriate form to suit the content. Focus on using scenes and imagery to reveal culture.

Additional reading that will help you understand the topic:

  1.  John Calderazzo, “Running Xian,” 168-171 ;
  2. Tim O’Brien, “LZ Gator, Vietnam, February 1994,” 60-619 ;
  3. Cynthia Ozick, “The Shock of Teapots,” In Short 68-71
  4. Pay close attention to the tone of each author when describing or exposing a foreign culture

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 Part III Revision-Lyricism

Objectives: Students will be able to add lyric quality to their essay by using imagery to describe the physical landscape of a place.

Do Now: What’s lyricism again? Pair share an example.

Mini Lesson and Guided Practice

Workshopping:

  • When you describe the physical landscape of a place, did you consider using a unique imagery to establish your unique perception of the place?
  • Does the way you describe the place seem to be cliché? Anyone could have seen it anywhere? Is there a personal stamp you put on the place?
  • Is your word choice innovative or again just cliché?
  • Do you often write short sentences or complete sentences? How about considering using fragments, short and long sentence to create a rhythm?
  • Is it possible to use a form more suitable to your essay content?

Workshopping on character profile

How descriptive and detailed are your scene and character portrayal?

  • Did you include strong detail rendered through interesting language and well-crafted scenes?
  • How vivid are the characterizations and place descriptions? Can the reader see what you see through the detailed descriptions?

Assessment: Teacher provides feedback to individual essays based on the self evaluation and peer review comments.

Independent Practice

Time to work on revision individually or have one-on-one conference with the teacher.

Homework: Use your notes from the workshop to revise or complete your essay. Focus on adding lyricism to your essay- imagery, figurative language, avoidance of cliché, word choice that is innovative and precise, attention to phrasing, the rhythm of your sentences. Be prepared to share your examples in the workshop. Share a peer reviewed draft with me using google doc.

Proofread your essay. Check the sentence structure, word choice, use of verb tenses, point of view, and use of punctuation.

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Part IV Focus-Revision: Establishing a Pack with your reader

Objectives: Students will be able to fine tune their essay by focusing on tone, context, ethical representation of subjects and precise choice of language to establish a pack with the reader.

Do Now: What does ” establishing a pack with the reader” mean? Pair share.

Mini Lesson and Guided Practice: 

  • How do you know you are establishing a pack with your reading?
  • How is each element listed below represented in your essay? Find details in your essay that illustrate each concept.

Workshopping: How successfully did you establish a pack with the reader? Consider the

  • tone, context, precise choice of language,
  • ethical treatment of subject matter, ethical representation of subjects, and
  • a mature, in-depth, well-researched approach to the topic.

Workshopping: Proofreading. Did you use…?

  • Variety of sentence structure to create rhythm and pacing and punctuation to make the reader “hear it” the way you imagine the essay sounding.
  • Precise word choice and verb tenses
  • Appropriate point of view to treat the topic ethically and fairly

Assessment: Present the examples in your essay that represent the literary strategies that can be used to establish a pack with your reader.

Independent Practice

Time to work on revision individually or have one-on-one conference with the teacher.

Homework:

Share your writing with a friend or family member and ask if the way you treat the subject matter sounds fair. What does your friend think of the tone of your essay? If the tone is not clear, how can you make it clearer considering your own intention? Print out a copy of your friend’s feedback and your revision and bring them to the class for the workshop.

Continue working on the essay. Focus on crafting scenes, strong characterization and place description. Be prepared to share a specific highlighted scene, a character and place description to share in the workshop. Essay due on Friday. Dec. 2.

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Part V

Objectives: Students will be able to evaluate an excerpt of the place and culture essay by using the Unit 3 rubric in a small group.

Do Now: How has research added complexity to your essay? Pair-share.

Mini Lesson

How to integrate researched information into your essay organically and add complexity to your narrative without making it sound like an informational essay?

  1. Unpack ” Using research to expand your perspectives” ( page 71 in Tell it Slant
  2. ” Sam Pedi” : How does the author use researched in for in his piece? ( page 342-343 In Fact)

In a small group, discuss, how does the author integrate research seamlessly? Present to the class.

If you ares till struggling with writing descriptions , pleas read “Writing the physical place” chapter ( page 25 Tell it Slant).

Independent Practice

  1. In a small group, share an excerpt of your essay that includes descriptions of a place and character in a scene. Use the rubric to evaluate your peer’s writing and provide feedback.
  2. Reflect on Unit 3 (

Assess: What have you gained about integrating research into non fictional writing?

Homework:

  1. Read and create a dialectical journal of Tell It Slant, review pp. 97-99 on “Literary or New Journalism”( What signifies literary journalism?);
  2. Tobias Wolff, “Last Shot,” 57-59 (In Short) ;

Notes: Before you hand in or email me the final draft of the culture essay, please do the following-

  1. Save a pdf copy of your draft with a peer’s comments and email it to me as an attachment ( in the same email)
  2. Share with me your final draft and Reflection

 

 

 

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